No more coffee and cigarettes.

It is time to take control of myself.

Lately, I have been somewhat distracted from my life goal of being happy.  That ends now.  I am sure I like to think of myself as a person who is strong minded and isn’t afraid of expressing that.  Well, lately I have been tip toeing around things that need not be tip toed around.  Sometimes things are more resilient than you think they are.  When you are afraid of things falling apart you don’t look at their present condition.  There might just be some cracks in the wall not worth patching up.  Maybe it is time to just tear it down and build it up…your way.

Recently I had to deal with some grown up issues.  It usually isn’t a big deal for me except most people I deal with might not see me as a grown up.  A five foot one inch girl needs to carry a big stick.

I had to do something that I was afraid to do and I did it.  I wont bore you with the details, just enter any ‘difficult task’ and it will work.  I was so afraid of what would happen if did it that even if I didn’t summon the strong little monkey inside of me to do it, I would be living in a state of fear.  So what is worse, living with the fear of what would happen or doing it, dealing with the consequences and it being over?  I chose the latter and it has only been 24 hours but I am writing again!

So, in honor of finding my inner monkey I am going to start doing the things that I had not done in the last few months.  Come to think of it, I might have been that little sad white bouncy ball in that anti-depressant commercial when it wasn’t happy with the little birdy that was flying around it.  I stopped doing the things I used to enjoy.  One would think that I would crave to do my favorite things when things are stressful.  Of course, my idea of fun is a little odd.  

I am going to put on some headphones, find a stadium and run up some stairs singing songs through labored breathing and scaring the families near by  Off I go!