Potato Hater

This year’s victim of my husband’s passive aggressive responses are my potatoes.  I have read of an ingenious method of growing these little guys in a compact space.  You get a taller than wide receptacle and fill with a few inches of dirt, throw in your potato bits.  You can even use potatoes that you have neglected in your pantry.  You know, the lone ones that are in the bottom of the bin.  They get a bit soft and wrinkly and start growing little things out of them… they are still useful! I might have said that last part with a bit more strength than needed for defending potatoes.  Anyway, after you toss those in, throw a bit more dirt on them.  You will need to add more dirt as the vines grow and keep them mostly covered.  This process continues until you have the whole container filled with dirt and the leafy vines growing out of it.  When the leaves turn brown, you pull out your bounty.  I am guessing the potatoes grow all along the vine so you get a big turn out.  I hope.

He likes potatoes but I think he has a problem with the receptacle I have chosen.  I got an ugly black trash can made of recycled material, and drilled holes in it.  Actually, I got 2 trash cans and I am contemplating a third for some sweet potatoes I will also be attempting to grow a bit later when the warmth decides to stay for a definite period of time.  More on that later.

I tried to soothe him by the reasoning that led me to choose these containers.  They are recycled, I said.  They were inexpensive, I said.  That didn‘t work.  I offered to paint them or put something around them to hide them but his response was that would only make it worse and he stomped away.  I didn‘t have any other options.  So, I used them.

You aren‘t supposed to grow potatoes in the same place two years in a row.  I hear bad things happen.  This method works because I can use use that soil in the trash can and “recycle” it into my crop rotation that I have scheduled, along with my homemade compost….um… don’t worry it isn‘t what you think.  It is a beautiful system even though the containers are not.

So, last year it was my butternut squash that were selectively not watered and this year my potatoes get sneered at.  They need lots of heat so I placed them in the middle of the backyard where it doesn‘t get shady.  A few days later, after much brooding, evil looks (at the potatoes), negative comments and affirmations of the ugliness of the containers, I saw that they were moved all the way to the side along the fence.  It is the most shady of all the backyard but my potatoes seem to thrive on adversity.  For now the vines have shot up and I have placed another level of dirt on them!

Just a side note, last year, we had butternut squash coming out of our ears.  It seems the more he hates the crop, the better it does.  Now, if only I can get him to hate eggplant….